Once upon a time, I found myself standing in front of my laptop perched on the end of our colossal island in our newly renovated kitchen, which was really a downstairs main area renovation, and the answer to everything was literally staring me right in the face.
For months, and really for well over a year (years) if I am honest, I have been trying to find my something. Something that makes me excited – something that feels creative, that is mine. There are days that practicing law does that, but its still work. There are many days that it clearly does not feel creative or fun, at all, and instead it makes me want to throw expensive electronic devices at walls.
I used to run. That used to be my thing. I haven’t felt really committed to it though for awhile. I enjoy it, but I don’t want to run everyday and I don’t think my body wants to run everyday anymore.
I started a number of projects. I toyed with various ideas. I wrote words on paper with colored markers. I put together rough business plans. I wrote in journals. I talked ideas-to-death-in-circles with Ryan.
With all of those projects, ideas, . . . I could never seem to jump on board 100%. I would start on the plans, research, research and research, and would find myself hesitating before really doing much with it.
This kitchen that we created, that I didn’t want to take-over the house, but did, that isn’t really even finished yet, represents me and where I want to be. This kitchen is where I find myself standing, puttering, wandering between the refrigerator and pantry, mulling around ideas of what to make next . . . This kitchen is a kitchen worth cooking in, and truly living in.
I went for a run and came up with a couple of names for a website, finished up work for the day, took the crew to speech therapy, came back, and bought by domain. I made about a zillion mistakes in those first few days, beginning with registering at wordpress.com, because I knew that little about what I was doing. But a light went off and for the first time in a long time, this was exactly where I needed to be.